Day 6: When Things Are Not Going My Way

I woke up dreaming about Equal Life Foundation - and coming up with slogans in my dreamy state - Serving Humanity Humanely - Equal Life Church - Serving Humanity Humanely. Then I reached for the tape recorder to record what I saying, then I just got out of bed and started my day.

Anyway I started to panic - become overwhelm again with all these thoughts of all the things I wanted to do. And I heard the words calm down - and remember the video about resistance - ah yet here it is again. But by remembering the video and my self forgiveness and self corrective statements - I Stopped the thoughts of overwhelmness and fear, breathed and brought myself back to the physical and tasks at hand.

Well as the day starts I am having problems with my Internet connection - this happens often, I am on a role with things I am doing and the Internet stops-

BREATH, I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to go into frustration and fear thinking how can I do what I need to do if the Internet is not working.

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dependant on the Internet as a way to stand up for life, and take care of myself. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow anger and frustration just because the Internet is not working.

I STOP the frustrating thoughts and fear of not doing enough - I breathe and then just do what I can without going into stress.

It is interesting when this happens because now I have to re-gather my thoughts, to continue with the days work. But I think it is also good training - meaning we cannot always get what we want. So I am learning to be present and in control of myself as my emotions. Mostly in the past I would get very angry when things were not going how I wanted them too. And I would go into blame, anger and self pity at things outside of me.

Good point to write out self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry when thing are not going how I want them to, thus causes myself stress though blame, frustration and self pity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that when things are going my way I am happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be happy when things are going my way, and then if things are not going my way I become angry, and frustrated and I thus forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated when things are not going my way, thus I am in the polarity game of happy and mad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and be happy and think I am doing something right, if things are going my way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if thing are not going how I want them too - that means I am doing something wrong and thus I then go into anger at myself and the world, and then I go into self pity and self blame. Wow what a self beat up!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beat myself up when things are not going how I think or want them too.

I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to beat myself up, because I have believe that the world is against me when thing are not going how I want them too.

I forgive myself for being angry at myself and the world, when things are not going how I think they should or how I want them too in my daily duties.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into frustrations against me and the world when some daily duties or activity do not go how I would like them too and then because of the frustration and self pity I become tired through the stress I have accepted and allowed.

I will from now on try to be aware of the feelings and emotions of stress and frustration when something happens that is not what I want to happen. And within this, when I see myself going into frustration and or resentment - I stop in that moment and Breathe - I correct these thoughts by not allowing myself to follow them. I realize that having these thoughts are not what is best for All of life, and I realize that I am now in my life changing the patterns of who I accepted myself to be, to become one of a stableness within Myself and Life, as I realize that I am the one who creates reality for myself and others as myself.