Thursday, July 26, 2012

Day 30: Continuing with Drudgery Backchat

Another point I am seeing is that I want to do TONS of things! And than what happens is I get overwhelmed in the idea of How can I do ALL of this _ I want to do it ALL NOW! And then the reality comes – that I CAN NOT DO IT ALL RIGHT AWAY, and I get depressed and just STOP – Thus this is what Bernard has meant and has been saying all along – You can only do ONE BREATH AT A TIME !

I was talking to my brother about this – the idea of a “kink” in the flow of doing something and then wanting to stop – that it was like an interruption of the “mind” energy flow. He mentioned something like this >
Inspiration is a believe of a better future – physiological time is the problem
As long as you don’t have future you don’t have a problem.
I said “We are the walking dead because we want to secure a future.” In other words we are always in our Mind in an illusionay future that has really been programmed for us. For example; if you do this you will get that. Like if you buy this makeup or wear these clothes or perfume you will get your mate and be successful.
We are never HERE with the physical.

 I like this statement from Sunette blog:

“If we’d spend as much time in reality, as we do in our Minds and really working together with ACTUAL PEOPLE in conversations/communications, rather than the extent to which we talk to ourselves in our thoughts/backchat, spending as much time giving attention to solutions in this PHYSICAL WORLD that consider/regard all equally as one, rather than spending the time on giving attention to our own interests of wants, needs and desires: This world could have been an entirely different scenario than what we’re facing now.”  

I am in the future/mind if I am not HERE

What my anxiety was about within the drudgery character was I was focused on a “future” – I was envisioning my future with wanting to get all of these things done – worried about myself in THE FUTURE – THUS WANTING TO PROTECT MY FUTURE WHICH CAN ONLY BE AN ILLUSION IN PHYSIOLOGICAL TIME.

So the “kink” would stop me because I was worrying about the future as mind/thoughts/projections.

Another point that came up this morning was that I have many different things to do and I wanted to do a bit of all of them in one day – but what was happening is I was worried about the time – like you can only spend so much time with this, then move onto that, then only so much time for that, then move onto the next. Well what that was doing was creating anxiety for the whole day, because I was thinking of ALL these different things I had to complete for the day.

I decided to change that set up. I will now devote one whole day to one or two projects instead of many projects for the day– then I will not worry about the time. An example: two full days for College work instead of 2-3 hrs each day, and two full days for Blogs and DIP   Within this will be daily rating support for fellow .Destonians The other days will be home/land maintenance, reading blogs, etc.  I will see how this works; so far already it feels good, meaning I do not have anxiety or overwhelmness because I have the most of the whole day to complete a project.   
This is seems like a way to trick the mind out of worry for now – just to break the cycle. We will see.

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