Continuing with my experience of Anger Inverted to Disappointment
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| disappointment. (Photo credit: gogoloopie) |
As shared in previous posts, when I saw what the consequences of this were: “That one will tend to have an 'apathy' towards life/living and Self-Motivation, like there will always be a heaviness within your mind/self and really difficult to initiate self movement / the will to live, cause all the energies are suppressed into the body and actually becomes a force that weighs you down mentally and physically.” I saw that OMG I am living as this! This triggered an investigation within me that lead to an awareness of how I have been living my life as Disappointment. The Disappointment character - actor.
When I saw this it was like a flash of my life where I could see for a moment tons of situations through out my life where I was disappointed. If I wanted to say put it on a circle chart it would be about 80% to 90% of my life I felt was a disappointment. Thus 10 to 20% if even that, I might have been satisfied for a movement with myself. But as I see now – these satisfied feelings are always fleeting, as one spirals back to the next moment to do something with the fear of possible disappointment.
I decided to look up the definition of disappointment to see what I could find.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disappointment
Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. Similar to regret, it differs in that a person feeling regret focuses primarily on the personal choices that contributed to a poor outcome, while a person feeling disappointment focuses on the outcome itself. It is a source of psychological stress. The study of disappointment—its causes, impact, and the degree to which individual decisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it—is a focus in the field of decision analysis, as disappointment is one of two primary emotions involved in decision-making. (Regret and disappointment are the two emotions that are most closely linked to decision making.)
When I read this, I could see further how living as a disappointment character has affected my life. The points within this for me were
- Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest
- It is a source of psychological stress
- Disappointment is one of two primary emotions involved in decision-making.
- Individual decisions are motivated by a desire to avoid it
Consequences
• There will be a heaviness within your mind/self and really difficult to initiate self movement / the will to live
• Energies are suppressed into the body and actually becomes a force that weighs you down mentally and physically
These definitions along with the consequences above have helped me to see and identify when and if I am living as disappointment and then apply the tools of self honesty, self forgiveness and self corrective statements and action.
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