Monday, October 29, 2012

Day:58 Mild to Moderate Bipolar Personality Pt2


Self Corrective Statements and Self Forgiveness 
In Reference to Part 1

When and if I start to get frustrated and in fear that I am doing all this work and I am not getting the desired results. (Note: I saw that the fear part is because the work that I am doing is so I can have an income from an online businesses, and if it does not work out – I don’t know how or what I am going to do to then get an income so I can survive on this planet.) I stop, take a pause and realize that this fear and frustration is coming from the fear of not making money to survive and the fear of time – I won’t make money in time to pay bills to survive. So I stop these fear thoughts as I see and realize that they do not support me in that I then accepted and allow myself to become possessed by my thoughts and not take or continue physical actions.

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to go into fear of not being able to make money when projects I am working on do not produce the desired results that I want and or expecting. And then within this I go into self pity and depression with the thoughts of “I want to quit.”

Then: I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to follow an energetic high feeling of ecstasy when things to work out to the point of becoming proud of myself and thinking I am wonderful, but within this, all I am doing is saying that it is good when things work out and bad when they don’t, thus I am then judging myself as a downer/depression when things don’t work out. I am judging myself as “bad” when thing don’t work – thus I forgive myself that I have been accepted and allowing the feeling of an energetic high with polarity thoughts of “you did good” “you are awesome” to define who I am as good verses who I am as bad when things don’t work out.

Thus I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to use the fear of not making money when things don’t work out as an excuse to think/believe that I am bad and then thus go into self pity and depression instead of seeing and realizing that I am in a polarity swing of judging myself and what I am doing as good or bad instead to be present HERE without thinking and defining myself by the polarity thoughts.

When and if I see myself going into and energetic high or energetic low I stop and realize that these thoughts are not who I am and do not define who I am as good or bad. I breath and continue with my activities in and as the physical - because that is the only thing that is real.
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