Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Day 82 I Am Not My Body = Arrogance and Self Interest

Yesterday I had a ton of energy and work most all day on research for a Desteni video – Today I feel sluggish and tired – and physically not feeling great – interesting – what the heck happened that would make a difference from yesterday to today?

What I did yesterday is not eat a good dinner – I made a good breakfast – then junk food at night – that could be it? I got lazy and did not want to cook something good. That could be it – And I was on a high that day – I felt good physically and mentally – thus this can also be the polarity manic swing.
I want to start to track my daily thinking and actions more extensively.
Right now I made a good breakfast – and already I am feeling better – I noticed an anxiety coming up – I use to get anxiety attacks. After I am eating it is lessening.

I loved reading “The Starting” Point by Ken Cousens today (See Link at bottom of Page) I am looking forward to when more and more people wake up from their self interest hypnotic state so we can start to really live and enjoy life. This is a must to read if you care about Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be consistent with eating right daily. I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself become lazy and come up with higher than thou excuses as to why it is okay to not eat right everyday.

The higher than thou means, that in my mind I think I am greater than the body – I think that I can get away with things just because I think of them. Like you don’t have to eat – you are not your body. Geee. This is coming from my idea that I conjoined up that I am not from this planet – I don’t belong here, and that my mind is who I am – my thoughts are who I am, and to a great extent that is true. As my thought generated my actions – but to think that I am not also this body and to understand that I am also within this body that allows life in the physical to be experienced is pure egomania which I see now I still am operating from this starting point. Lol – funny I can see my mind when I remember why I did not eat last night – it was pure ego – I AM – I can get away with this – cause I AM. Wow – I did not see until now that I still play that card… But I am a creator – I know this – but what I am missing is that to consider all of life as me. I wanted to get to a point to where we don’t have to eat – and maybe one day that will happen, but my starting point is I want to do this to be greater than the body – So I can say I transcended the body = ego style. It is arrogance and self interest.

I forgive myself that I did not see or realize that I have been accepting and allowing myself to still use the “ I am greater than what is Here” card as justifications to not doing something. When I don’t even know what greater than here even means…lol. It is like a supper hero in my own mind – a greater than fantasy that I have unconsciously been holding onto. Like don’t take away my belief in fairytales! I have my own fairytale that I have used to not take responsibility. It is my safety net for the mind. So I don’t want to let it go completely.
When and if I see myself sneaking in the I am greater that what needs to be done as backchat and excuses I stop and breath then write out these thoughts/ideas/ and beliefs that stop me from participating as Life in the and as the physical.
I commit myself to see and understand the I want to be greater than program that I have been accepting and allowing to still participate in within my secret mind backchat.

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