Day 18: Denied, Making Money - I am on the wrong planet

I have just seen within me that that trigger today for this anger was because I was denied acceptance to a cpa network that I wanted to support me in m y business. This created fear and angry that now I will have to work harder and find something else, thus I went into self pity and fear that I now want to give up, which is what I have done many times before. Thus I am accepting and allowing myself to believe in and use self  pity to give up. I am accepting and allowing the emotion of self pity to dictate my life, instead of me standing clear within me and self directing myself.

I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to be frustrated because I have to do things to make money.

I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to be annoyed with the constant daily waking moments on how I can make money with an online business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not like the idea and resist having to push myself to do the things I need to do to make money online.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should not be having to do these things to make money, and that this is robbing me from life - even though I do not even know what I would do in life without not having to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry at life because I feel that we as humans must dedicate our lives to making money to survive instead to be one with nature and ourselves.

I realize now and understand that it is not life I am angry at but at ourselves for what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame LIFE, thinking life is against us, instead to see and realize that it is us as humans that do this to ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a product of money as self interest instead of a community that supports all of life.

I see now and understand that my frustration is one of self interest because I felt I should not have to do this. That I was special and dropped onto the wrong planet. Thus I had anger and blame at life, not seeing or understanding that I had to change my very core of my being - what I had become and walk a process of change.      

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow the word “denied” to cause me to go into self pity, blame of life and anger towards life, as I saw the word denied as a fear of not making money. Denied, the fear of how will I survive now. It felt like - I have denied you life. LOL. Thus triggered the anger and resistance to having to make money.

I see now that the word denied does not define who I am unless I accepted and allow it to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the word denied defines who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe when the word denied is used towards me, that I see it used against me, thus seeing it as a statement that life is against me and I, who I think I am is kicked out, not liked, not approved of and then within that belief I go into self pity.

Thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and associate the word denied, to meaning I, my being, who and what I think I am, is not worthy of life.

I now see and understand this word does not define me, who and what I think I am unless I accept and allow it to.