Day 15: Depression as an Excuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my mind as the program of emotions and feeling to direct my life and actions within my life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find a solution through the mind as self interest reason to feel good, and not see that I am still in the mind.

I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing the mind to direct me as life thinking/believing its excuses are valid

I forgive myself that I am still as of now wanting to find/figure out through the mind excuses as to why I am tired and just want to watch TV, instead to make a difference in this lifetime.

I forgive myself that I am accepting and allowing myself to want to feel good, thinking this is the reason above all for life, thus and therefore believing and allowing the act and idea of depression to be valid reason not to do something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything I do is a chore and thus I deserve to rest and get it done fast so I can rest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I am a Leo and thus Leos, like the lion are in there glory when they are resting and lounging as the King

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow depression as an excuse not to do something and hide from life and not want to face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and follow the polarity of feeling good verses not feeling good as a way to judge what I am and what I do in and within life as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and live as manic in my life and decisions of what is right and wrong and as self pity self judgment of if I am not feeling good - as high - that something is wrong with me and I go into a low/depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to us energy and believe energy is the director of my life, thus therefore allowing myself to become and believe I am a victim to what I am feeling as energy/ feeling and emotions.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and believe that I am a victim to the polarity swings of energy.

I now dedicate my life to do what it takes to stop accepting and allowing myself to follow the energy swings of the mind as a way of life.

I now understand that the energy swings of feeling good and feeling bad are not who I am and are not and excuse, because I  was accepting and allowing myself to fear to stand up to it because I was accepting and allowing myself to follow the mind/ego reasoning as valid when in fact it is just a program designed to keep one entrapped in victimization

I now understand this will not go away on its own, as I was accepting and allowing myself to want it to be easy, I was accepting and allowing myself to falsely believe that if I just sit through it that one day it will just stop, instead to realize that I am the one who has to stop following the excuses of the mind.

I now dedicate myself as Life as what is Best for All to stop allowing this pattern of feel good feel bad to direct my life and what I do within life. As I see now that I am the only one who can stop this, and I see that this is not what is best for life as me or as another, meaning as I stand for life, I stand for life as All. Meaning life is just not about me - that I am part of all life - Life is Life.  SO BE IT.

When and if I see myself going into depression - I Stop! I change my mind - I stop following the thoughts and excuses, - I change my mind as to not accepting and allowing myself to follow these thoughts.  SO BE IT.

I now chose to be the DIRCTIOR of My life for what is Best for All.  SO BE IT.