Day:16 Age as an Excuse

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to think that maybe I can not do this process of standing up to the mind because of my age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain the idea and excuse that because I am getting old that I should not “do” anymore and just live as comfortably as I can because I am going to die anyway, so what difference can I make.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having enough time and within that and because of that fear, that I am not living, and thus the very idea that I am fearing - the fear itself is what is stopping me from living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of time to direct me, and what I do within life, instead to be PRESANT HERE with life. Thus the fear of time is keeping me living as a fear of the future, thus meaning everything I do is in fear really because I do it for a future instead to do it as Life as what is best for myself in the moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live life for a future goal, thus not living as LIFE, but a picture presentation of what I think life should be. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually want to use age as an excuse to give up in my backchat

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that age makes a difference in what one can do, though I have retaliated this thought for many years, saying I would not be that way, as I got older I started to accept and allow that this might be true. I can see now in my mind pictures of people saying things like “wait until you get older, or wait until you get my age” Those things scared me and made me mad at the same time.  I feared getting older.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear getting older even thought I thought I was not. I finally faced the fear, that I really had this fear and that what others were saying might be true. Funny what you resist persist.

Now that I faced that I had this fear, I can forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and fear that getting older was not a good thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge getting older as a failure, thus I was living in the mind consciousness polarity once again as life projected into the future as being good or bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow thoughts of fear and picture presentation of past or present pictures that are of the mind, and thus I am living as picture presentation instead of living HERE.

When and If I see myself following picture presentation that lead to thoughts of fear of me in/as a future, I stop, I breathe, I bring myself back to HERE as Life unencumbered by thoughts/ emotions and feeling.

I dedicate my self as life to deconstructing all thoughts, feelings and emotions that do not support Life. And I as Life start to live as what is best for all, instead of personal worry and gain, as life is ALL.  In this a world can emerge with out abuse as we stop the internal completion against ourselves, others and the world, as completion against = against/ not with, and thus we have accepted and allowed abuse to exist, by wanting to be better than an other.