Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Day 33: Resistance – I DECIDE

What I saw this morning as backchat as resistance to start the day.
It is because I am thinking as all these things as a “Have to do” thus drudgery. It is like chores that you mother might have for you that need to be finished before you can go out and play! Lol that’s how it feels. So what I am doing instead to enjoy it, is a feeling to hurry and get things done so I can play – thus the feeling and fear/anxiety if I have to many things to do I will miss the day, meaning I can not play for that day

So my Resistance IS – How am I going to get time to play with all of these Chores? Instead to see it as MY DAY AND WHAT I DO. In other words I have to define the word play and work as one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have not seen or understood that I have been accepting and allowing myself to start each day of my life with and Idea of play/fun and work/hard and I have separated the two as work being bad/hard something to be done with as soon as possible so I can do the opposite which is play/good/fun.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself as of yet to see/understand and change this belief behavior of fun/good/play and work/hard/bad/ get it over with. And thus within this I have been waking up in the morning with anxiety, resistance and the feeling of drudgery to start my day.

I see so clearly now how I have run my whole life like this, from a little child. The want/desire to play and thus work became hard because I made it a stress to hurry and get through as I saw it as taking something away from me – I saw it as taking fun away from me. Wow…This I see, realize and understand what Bernard said about why the world will not change, because it is so hard to give up self interest and work.   

August 7, 2012

Resistance – I DECIDE 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up today feeling groggy today as I forgot and slipped into the mcs of/for feeling foggy/groggy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I DECIDE, and thus I was decided to feel groggy this morning.

I forgive myself that I have been accepted and allowing myself to BE/LIE –VE  that I do not want to do my writing and school work and all the stupid excuses that the mind is feeding me to not do it. Thus I forgive myself that I forgot that I DECIDE and was living in/as the be/lie of the mind consciousness system.

I forgive myself that another excuse is that there is so much to do, and if I don’t do it all I will miss something, thus I have been accepting and allowing myself to use that excuse as a reason to not do anything because the mind is telling me you will miss something, where should you start, if you start that you wont have time for this, blah, blah.

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to use the excuse that I have some really cool ideas for SF that come out through the day, and then when it comes time to write I have forgotten it or to lazy to write that out, by the time I go to write. And then I go into frustration and resistance about what to write.

I forgive myself that I am using the excuse that I “wish” I did not have school so I can spend lots of time writing with Desteni and thus using that excuse as frustration and resistance to write SF and School work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse that I have done enough for the day and thus spend  the rest of the evening watching TV – when I can use that time to what I agreed with myself that I would do….

Thus I really want to push through this because >> I DECIDE << I want to stop listening and believing in the mind which says I cant or don’t want to for no good reason at all except that’s what it has always done- THAT I HAVE ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED IT TO BE THE DIRECTOR OF MYSELF, by allowing myself to BE/LIE being the beliefs that the mind was/is programmed to tell me, beliefs that are fuzzy logic designed for man not to get free and follow imaginary thoughts made up by the mind and not to see and live HERE in and as the physical.

SCS – Thus when I see these thoughts of resistance –I understand that this is NOT ME DIRECTING SELF - I stop – I then see/realize that I CAN DIRECT ME, I DECIDE.

When I feel/think or believe that I have done enough for the day and I have not done what I agreed with myself to do and use the excuse "time for TV" when in fact I want to get it done - I STOP and realize that I DECIDE. I stop accepting and allowing these stupid excuses as I see now it is a habit that I have not as yet stood up to. 

"Stepping out of Character" from the Creations Heaven Journey. http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

An added note >>

SCS Resistance - from Reptilians part 20

Make sure when you face resistance that you solidify your decision of who you are within you and your living and your participation in this world and this reality. I mean you can’t get a more beautiful and assistance and support solidifying that decision of who you are within yourself and your Life experience. It cannot get simpler than that.
That is all you have to do. When resistance come, note: “ I do not accept and allow this resistance, I have made a decision who I am, what I am walking and doing in myself and my life. I am preparing to live as an example of equality and oneness. Not only for myself, but for all. And to do this I have to push through this resistance, so I push, I do what must be done, and I walk myself into preparing me for all as me.

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