Showing posts with label self change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self change. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Day 79 Change Before You Die!

The Program
The Program (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I was listing to Heaven Journey to Life Blog today, and they say to make a change now in your life before you die. It is best to listen to this to get the full explanation and concept. Unifying the Mind-Body-Spirit Trinity Separation: DAY 346

This really can get one to start thinking what one has done with their life while here on earth. For me I was pretty much unconscious, meaning I was just living the matrix slave program. Trying to survive, wanting to find my “soul mate”, wanting to win the lottery or make more money so I could be “free.” Yet there was a part of me that kept asking – “THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS!” So while doing the survival stuff like working and tending to the necessities of life I read everything I could get my hands on for the past 35 yrs or so to find out what the fuck is going on in existence, to where everyone seemed to be asleep to the abuse and atrocities that are going on.

The news would tell of some of it, but never was there every a solution talked about. Or one that worked. It seemed like any real change that could benefit all of man kind was undermined. So what do you do? What can one or a few people do? I did not see results from protesting, well maybe for a moment something would change, then a bill would pass that messed up something else. It is unending the crap that we seem t to have to put up with. So I tried to find solace in, stuff like LOA, Advita, but to me it did not seem fair or right some how. By that I mean, I could stop my thoughts for a few moments, and be in this place in my mind where there was nothing, and I liked it, a break from the world, but then you open your eyes, or come back from meditation, and the world is still the same, Wars, corruption, child abuse. So what changed? Nothing.

The only “hope” I had was that maybe when you die, it will be sorted out – you will know why the world is like this, there will be an explanation of why we are such an abusive species. By the time I 50yrs old I had lost all respect for life here. Except for nature, as nature is very giving to us. Without nature there would be no reason to be here. But then you see how we as a species are destroying it, it seems the ones with the most money wins what happens to us and our planet. And they do not seem to care at all expect for more profit at the cost of life.

I am getting a bit off of topic and I see this post could also be called “How I heard the Desteni message.”
So with the comment of “change before You Die,” one would have to look honestly at who and what you are now. So I ask the question to myself, if you died right now what could you say about your life. Who were you, what did you do.
If I died right now, I could say I was at the tip of the ice burg to even start to grasp what change really means. But lets say I died before I started with Desteni. That would be before I understood what it meant to be self honest.

I use to say I was ego honest. Lol- that means I only knew and supported my ego, in that I would defend it. I would study who I was, say for example, by astrology or numerology and all that does is tell you what your program is – who you are as a programmed when you were born. And though this can have some bit of truth, I mean like we are born with certain personality types – I would just defend it/me and would not change. And if I died then I would have not changed at all – I would of just died as a program. Defending my program and I could say – I really did not do anything but follow the designed program. Now this designed program is so extensive that we do not even see how it affects every breath we take.
So what does it mean to change before you die? I will continue with this as I am going to listen to this series again.
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Monday, December 17, 2012

Day 66 Stopping Gossip Thanks to Study with Desteni

Friday, December 07, 2012

Wow – O woke up today realizing that I do not talk about other people anymore like I use to! When talking to a friend many times I use to complain about other people. Being with Desteni now for 5 yrs I just realized that I don’t like to do that. It was a habit before. I always had something to say about someone, how they were acting or behaving and I took it personally in that it would affect me. – These last 2 days – I feel like am waking up from something – I am starting to see my habits in a different way – I am seeing them in my thoughts as in a past vision of what I do. This is weird and cool. It is like a part of me is waking up and I can see what I was doing differently.

I saw that I had a complainer in my head – that was so much a part of me I never questioned it. To me complaining about something was natural – AND I see now it gives one something to talk about! – Like a sharing of experiences. I still complain about things I am doing – like it is hard or I don’t want to – But I saw that I stopped complaining about others to others so much. I can catch myself – either before I do it – or if I slip I see it after because I don’t feel good about it. I use to justify talking about others, saying I am doing it because I want to understand why they are that way – and I think that part of that was true – I did want to understand others and myself. But now that I do understand, because of 5 years of study with Desteni – the starting point is different. By this I mean, I can talk about others, but my internal reaction is different. It is not about complaining and wondering and judging what they do, it is about what can I DO to stop my reactions and stand HERE, present without past memories. That is it. If I do have reactions I know it is about ME.

Now I am also working the point of internal reactions as complaining to myself in my mind about things that need to be done. It is really the same thing. Because I do tell others and myself that I have So Much To Do – thus complaining. Thus I will deal with this the same way – stop the complaining within myself. Thanks Desteni for your consistent support!
It is really amazing to see that I am changing, slowly but surely

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