Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Day64: The Love That Got Away PT2

English: Love Book - The Top 50 Most Trusted E...
English: Love Book - The Top 50 Most Trusted Experts Reveal Their Secrets for Relationship Success (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Continuing  with Blog – The Love That Got Away.

As I was pondering my long time ago relationship, I got some insights. One is that I am still living that relationship as me now HERE. I saw another show of Deep Space Nine, where Benjamin was in the worm hole talking with the Profits. The Profits where trying to understand humans. Benjamin was trying to explain time to them. He was saying that we live in a place where things are linear. They follow after each other, and thus we can see past as time as we move to another moment.. And the Profits kept saying But You Are HERE. And what they were showing him was that he was living in his mind as a time loop of a year ago when his wife had died and he had failed to save her. Thus indicating that if you are linear – why are you Here – meaning living in the past moment with anger and fear of what had happened. Well long story short, he snapped out of it. He realizing that in his mind he was not living linear – but staying and living as the sorrow and anger and thus missing his moments of life as the present, not seeing others or life around him. 

For me I saw that when it came to a partnership interest, someone coming into my life as a potential partner – that I was/would live that moment where I thought I had failed a good relationship. And because of that, when I had an opportunity for a partner, all kinds of memory pictures come up of that time. I then feared getting involved again, fearing that I would fail. 

I also see that we do this for many things. Anything that we accepted and allowed to made an emotional charge imprint within our minds with a label as good. or bad – we carry with us, most of us our whole entire life – and we never do really live HERE. We live in the mind. And at Desteni and the Desteni I Process we are becoming self intimate - we study ourselves and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to believe, by understanding our emotions and feelings and how they can enslave us to live life in constant time loops and never really know how to live HERE as the Physical. 

So back to my relationship, I mentioned that I call her and we did talk. While I was waiting to see if she would call me back, I was thinking how we as humans all live in our own “personal reality”, meaning I wonder how she saw our relationship. I knew I had my version of it, what I believed happened. So I was hoping we could talk about it.

So what did we talk about? At first it was pleasantries, like how have you been, have you seen so and so, we talked about the people we knew together. Then she said – “So you had a dream about me?” lol – I am laughing now, because I was actually not going to initiate that conversation… If she did not – I probably would have not brought up our relationship – I was backing out, I got scared, I am a chicken! Then I would have regretted it, thank goodness she said something about it!

Next I will talk about what we talked about regarding our relationship

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