Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts

Friday, October 12, 2012

Day:44 OMG My Hair SF Points

Continuation from previous post. OMG What am I going to do with my hair
Self Forgiveness on these points :

• I felt my hair was not good enough
• I felt that I looked ugly if my hair was not fixed in the right fashion - and since I had hard to control hair - I assumed I was ugly.
• I was always self conscious about my hair - meaning sometimes I could get it right, but not for long as it would frizz up in damp weather.
I feared damp weather because it would mess up my hair - and all the work it took to fix it.
• Most of all I felt that something was wrong with me.(This comes from other experiences as well)

I also believed my mother did not like me because the tone of her voice (Not understanding at that time - that she was also conditioned to think like that and as a result I took it as she did not like me because her tone of voice was not gentle, but it felt like she was accusing me of something)( I will take this point on later)


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for my entire life feel that my hair was not good enough.

I forgive myself that I did not understand that we are born into a system where newborns take on the emotional energy of our parents and within this I have taken on the behaviors of my parents and theirs before them, that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe because of the tonal voice spoken to me as a young child about my hair of one of irritation or urgency that I had developed a believe that I looked ugly if my hair was not done up/or I use the word “fixed” (Like my hair was broken) , because I would hear as I got older in early teens to fix my hair- something was wrong with it – so it had to be fixed and thus within this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and think that when my hair needed to be fixed and within this believe I thought/accepted and allowed myself to believe that something was wrong with me/my hair. Thus I forgive myself that I associated myself my being with my hair – that if my hair was not good enough then I was not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was not good enough or that something was wrong with me because I accepted the tonality of my mothers voice when she spoke about my hair as irritation/urgency – thus I became irritated with urgency that something was wrong with my hair and that I had to fix it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and feel that I looked ugly if my hair was not fixed in the right fashion - and since I had hard to control hair - I assumed I was ugly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I did not fix my hair in the right way that something was wrong with me and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if something is wrong with me that I will not be accepted within this world and within this I created a fear of not being accepted into this world, like I had to struggle as a being to gain approval of others because I feared God would not like me if others did not.

Within this belief that if my hair was not fixed properly to my mother’s approval I was always self conscious about my hair especially when around others and the public, because even though I attempted to fix/style my hair in a manner that was acceptable to mom I always worried about it even after fixing it – because it would not stay for long the way I fixed it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/believe the word fix as something wrong with me, and that I would become self conscious about it and that I assumed was a judgment of me/my being instead to see it as just a solution to something without taking it as a personal mark against who I am and thus feeling inferior/less than within my being.

I forgive myself that because I was afraid of my hair going frizzy after I had spent the time to “fix” it that I fear damp rainy weather because it would cause my hair to frizz after I had “tamed” it.
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Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Day 42 Deconstructing Memories from Childhood and the Past

Since I have so many things going on in my mind that I “think” I can’t make a choice on what to submit for my blog – I am going to stick with one thing for now.

Deconstructing Memories from Childhood and the Past 

>>>>>She did not see me
Also as I got older Mom always was worried about what I was wearing and how my hair looked. I would come into the kitchen and she would say is that what you are wearing, do something with your hair. I felt like a thing/ not a person that she needed to show off so she could feel good.
Because mom kept doing this to me (bugging me about how I looked or acted – instead to really talk to me, I never could really talk to her, because she did not see me - she just saw a “daughter” that she wanted to make in her image so she would get approval of her peers. It was like she didn’t even want to get to know me at all, she just wanted me to look good for others, so she would look good.

Never talk to her again
Time In Lexington

This made me an angry kid and this went on all the time. One time I remember (Time in Lexington) I wanted to talk to Mom about something important to me, as I started to talk, she said something like “honey are you going to do something with your hair” - she did not even hear me or want to hear me - This was about when I was a young teen around 12 or 13, I became so angry, it was like that time the scales where tipped - this happened so often, that day I vowed to never talk to her again - and I didn’t. What I mean by that is I never shared anything with her about me, she was just this person I had to live with, who I had to ask to do things. Like I want to go to my friend’s house, stuff like that. She never knew me.

[[[Note – Later on in my life during that time in Lexington I did not realize what was happing to her. She was pregnant and my father was cheating on her – he had a girlfriend and I took her anger as being with me, something I must have done…. Sad I did not know this and carried the anger at her for all those years.]]]

We mostly argued - a lot. Every time I asked her “why”, like why cant I do that, she would just say, because I said so. I wanted explanations, so I could learn and understand.
I felt she did not see me as anything that deserved and explanation, and in my mind she was the enemy now, just something I had to endure until I got older and could move out of the house.

Disclaimer:
Please understand that these writings are not about "complaining about my childhood." Or about blaming what I perceived as others doing something to me. I am writing my experiences that we unconsciously carry with us into our lives so we may see where we hold blame, judgment, self insecurity and anger and to come to an understanding that this is not who we are - but who we have believed we are. Within this with self forgiveness and corrective application we can change the very nature of ourselves to one of a dignified Life and not be directed emotionally.

To be continued...
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