Day 32:Postponement Character-Feeling Like I have to Hurry

Within this character I saw these points so far

Becoming Overwhelmed because I think I have to much to do, I wont have the time, and I need some time for myself to rest from chores.

So - a Character will have:

1. Specific Thought Patterns in the Conscious Mind (One thought or picture)

 2. Specific internal conversations/backchat within which we converse with ourselves in      our own Minds = backchat

3. Specific emotions/feelings attributed to the specific Character existent in the specific thoughts and internal conversations

4. Specific physical responses/behaviors

5. REALITY-CONSEQUENCES

I will call this the overwhelmed character;

1. Specific Thought Patterns in the Conscious Mind

   I have a picture in my mind of being tired – Like a stack of books or papers in front of     me that need tending to.

2. Specific internal conversations/backchats within which we converse with ourselves in      our own Minds = backchat

I have to much to do,  I don’t want to do this, my days are a drudgery, I which this was over, I want time to myself. I want to be done with this, meaning not to keep doing it.

3. Specific emotions/feelings attributed to the specific Character existent in the specific thoughts and internal conversations

I am feeling stressed and worry about time, I think of all the things I have to do, I feel depression, sadness, I want to give up.

4. Specific physical responses/behaviors

I hold my breath, I slouch my shoulders and head, I stare, I want a cigarette.

5. REALITY-CONSEQUENCES

When I don’t do these things I get depressed anyway, because then I am not a good person, I am abdicating responsibility which means I am a loser.

Realization – Because I have it in my mind that I have so much to do – I am RUSHING with each project…Thus not being here – present because I am worrying about time.

I fear if I don’t worry about time – I will get distracted…

So the question is – how do you get all that needs to be done and not worry about time?

I forgive myself that I haven’t realized that I am always worried about the time I have to do a project.

I forgive myself that I was snappy at my land mate because I was worried about time while fixing the chicken run roof.

I forgive myself that I feel that I need to rush – so that I can get things done.

I forgive myself that I feel/believe that if I do not rush – I will not have time to get things done in a timely manner. 

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Day 27:Postponement Backchat

Backchat – Postponement Character

Here I am writing different backchat that comes up during the day regarding the postponement character.

There should be more to life than doing the same thing all the time

Life should be fun and not work

I am tired

My body hurts when I sit too much

I don’t want to do this

I need to get other things done

I have too much to do already

I don’t know where to start because I have so much to do

I am TIRED (I see I get tired when I think of all that needs doing)

I want to do something I want to do now that feels good or fun for me

How am I going to get this all done

I am afraid that I have too much to do, how will I get it all done/overwhelmed

 (realization – when and if I start to get overwhelmed I realize all I need to do is look at my list for the day and understand that I always do get done what I need to and that it is the future projection of fear that I wont get it done that causes me to then get overwhelmed and then tired. When I make my list and follow it – I always get things done. It is the fear that wont is what is causing the postponement)

I am getting older now and life should not be as hard,

I am getting older now and I do not have the energy like I use too

Some Self Forgiveness By Sunette Check out Her Blog

·  I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how we as humanity have been conditioned to powerlessness, apathy in our individual relationship to existence- and how this manifest in me facing myself as the mind, where I see me as insignifcant in relation to my mind and so in moments where I am facing me as the mind, instead of realisng th emind is me, I am simply facing me, I make it more than what

Sunette> it is/overwhelming which then cause me in moments to so quickly give up/give in and manipulate myself with 'i don't know' than pushing myself to equalise me with myself and my mind as me\

·  Sunette> I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand how - every human being accept and allow this manipulation in relation to the world/humanity of 'i don't know what to do' in how to change the world, but no one ever really investigated/put the effort in in really going deep into how things really work, that we don't want to put the effort in, as we do in our relationship with the mind, putting the effort in in getting to know how it works to so change ourselves as the mind, as we had become so used to having things instantaneously - in this:

·  I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that walking / putting in the effort and discpline into and as my relationship with me as the mind - is a step by step, seemingly 'menial process', but this is how I created me as the mind in the first place and so will take an equal and one process to change it, thus I commit myself to no more accept/allow the i don't know character/i don't want to see character to manipulate myself with, but to walk through the resistance and take that moment and really investigate/get to know me, so that I can change me, not only for me, but all as me and how that one menial point of pushing through he resistance/i don't know character is another step I take for me as all as me.

·  <Sunette> I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand - how, me accepting and allowing myself to go into the i don't know character, the i don't want to see - I am in that moment, actually accepting and allowing myself to go into HOPE, holding onto the HOPE of there one day magically arriving a miracle cure for humanity so that I don't have to walk the process - believing that, if I wait for others, their

<Sunette> process will save me and so I don't really have to do much, not seeing/realising/understanding that no individual human being can change another, and self will decide whether self will be part of this process of birthing life from the physical or not, it is each one's individual process and decision, and so

I commit myself to no more accepting and allowing myself to hold onto hope - as I see, realse and understand that with walking the mind as I have thus far, there is no other way human beings will change but taking responsibility for ourselves in walking the detail of the mind as ourselves into living correction