Day 41 - Mother Want Me to Look Cute Pt3

I have update Part 2 Of Mother Waning Me to Look Cute to be more thorough

-->Mind Construct on Mom

-->--> Wanting me to look cute

-->-->--> At the park with cousin and Moms

-->-->-->-->Moms fussing over us and how we looked

-->-->-->--> I was becoming annoyed as they were staring at us saying we were cute

-->-->-->-->-->I did not like having to wear those clothes to look cute

 -->-->-->-->-->-->I did not like feeling as I was in a competition or on stage

-->-->-->-->-->-->--> It felt like we were entertainment for the adults – toys for the adults to play with

-->-->-->-->Moms fussing over us and how we looked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated because Mom fussed over the cloths I was to wear so I would look cute.

-->-->-->--> I was becoming annoyed as they were staring at us saying we were cute

I forgive myself that at a young age I became annoyed when my mother and aunt were staring at us in Pride because they dressed us up to look cute and within this I forgive myself that I then through out my years had always became annoyed when I had to get dressed to go out in public

I forgive myself that I at a young age did not like being looked at because I felt I was being judged for how I looked feeling that if I did not look this certain way that mom and aunt liked that they would be displeased and annoyed. And thus within this I have accepted and allowed myself to fear how I looked to others as I feared being disapproved of because I was not wearing the right cloth or hair.

-->-->-->-->-->-->I did not like feeling as I was in a competition or on stage

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am in a completion or on stage to where people are looking at you to look good when I am trying to get dressed to go out in public because of the memory of my mother and aunt putting pressure on us as young girls to were cloths and fix our hair so we would look cute.

-->-->-->-->-->-->--> It felt like we were entertainment for the adults – toys for the adults to play with.

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the memory of when I was very young (about 3 or 4 yrs old) when my mom had dressed be up to go out and show us off because we looked cute and that I felt we were entertainment for them and I felt we were like dolls/toys that one played dressed up with.

I forgive myself that when I am getting dressed or trying to style my hair and the feeling of frustration to find cloths that “look good

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to go into frustration when I am trying to find cloths to wear as the thoughts come up of I need to look cute in my cloths

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to become stressed when I am looking for cloths to wear because I want them to fit well and look cute.

I forgive myself that at a young age I was being infused with the “must look cute program” even though I resisted it – I was still owned by the idea because I accepted and allowed myself to judge mom and people who wanted to look cute/good for others so they would be accepted and complemented on how they looked by what cloths and hair they wore. And thus this was infused into me even though I resisted it.

I forgive myself that even though I resisted my Mom and her friends to want me to look cute as I felt at that age they were doing it for themselves and not for what was best for me but doing it so that they would feel like “good mothers because we looked cute” as I got older I did not want to dress for others but I did though I resented it and hated it and thus within this I hated my Mom and her friends because I believe they where dishonest by wanting to live and please others/ wanting approval to be seen as “good mothers.”

I forgive myself that I have been accepting and allowing myself to hate my Mom and her friends, to blame my Mom and her friends for making/wanting me to look cute – thus within this I have allowed myself to blame my Mother for my insecurity about looking cute/ dressing cute/ wearing my hair cute that every time I go to dress or I look in the mirror I worried about if I had the right cloths on that would look cute and if I could get my hair to look nice. And thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to most of my life worry what I look like that has caused stress for me when I went to get dressed or tried to fix my hair.